To my readers: it has been a while since I have paid attention to this blog and for that, I apologize. Life has been busy with a move to the Pacific Northwest, which entailed a new job, house and lifestyle. Oh, and we did have a pandemic, which disrupted much of life for all of us. I’m happy to be back and with my impending retirement from full-time employment, look forward to being more active in the things I care deeply about. Thanks for reading and commenting on this blog--I really appreciate it.
Two years ago this month, life as we knew it ended. A virus that originated in a lab in China swept the globe, killing over six million people worldwide, to date. “Normal” disappeared and we were forced to adapt to life during a global pandemic. We wore masks, went to school and work from home, streamed a lot of TV, disinfected everything and became reacquainted with our homes and families. We were isolated, stressed and anxious and many of us lost loved ones and were not even able to say a proper goodbye or celebrate their lives with our community. We are cautiously optimistic that the pandemic is nearly over, although there always seems to be another variant that could create another surge and further restrictions in order to contain it.
There is a four-letter word that completely describes what the world community has experienced over the past two years: LOSS. Loss is almost always unexpected and intrudes itself into our lives in many forms—betrayal by a loved one, illness, financial difficulties, a global pandemic, war, death—to name a few. So, what do we know about this dreaded four-letter word?
Loss brings opportunities: If you have read much in this blog, you know a bit about my story. When my marriage exploded in scandal, arrest, and the diagnosis of pedophilia, the grief and terror were real. But this huge relationship loss presented opportunities for growth and changes that I could not even dream about while still tied to a perpetrator. My life has expanded in so many amazing ways. I have been given the opportunity to journey a bit with other partners who are struggling with their own losses, I have remarried and cherish a companion to journey with me, my family has expanded and I delight in three little girls who have captivated my heart, my kids are doing well and we regularly enjoy wonderful family times together. None of these good things would have happened had I not experienced the loss of my first marriage.
More than anything, however, loss teaches us that we need each other. The pandemic kept us from one another in tangible ways but we found ways to stay connected and my hope is that we will continue to look for healthy ways to connect, to support and to love one another as we embrace the numerous losses we have all experienced together—our common trauma. May we focus on what unites us rather than what divides and may we see and cherish our common humanity.