In 2014, I chose three words as indicators of my goals for the year: Transform, Delight and Prosper. I certainly have met with surprising success (i.e. prosperity) professionally during the past twelve months and am learning to delight in the unique ways that my Creator formed me, which includes embracing my physical beauty (gasp, blush!). The year has unfolded in many unexpected ways, however, and one of the biggest surprises was that transformation does not come without pain and discomfort.
In many ways, 2014 has rivaled 2012 in terms of personal pain and loss. Indeed, the definition of transformation describes a "thorough or dramatic change, a metamorphosis, overhaul, remodel or reworking of the form, appearance or characteristic of a person or thing." Relationships that I held dear have not survived my own personal transformation. One of the notions that I am embracing is that transformation and growth will bring pushback from systems that thrive on homeostasis. And this pushback can and often does result in broken connections.
Additionally, Dr. Brown writes that "Living a connected life ultimately is about setting boundaries, spending less time and energy hustling and winning over people who don't matter and seeing the value of working on cultivating connection with family and close friends." I would add that sometimes it is impossible to build healthy connections with our biological family so we work to create a family of choice as a substitute.
Healthy connections will require:
- Stepping out of my comfort zone and daring to trust and engage with others.
- Continuing to work on self-acceptance.
- Being aware of approval-seeking behavior (my default setting) and work to stop it.
- Maintaining good boundaires.
- Showing up and allowing my authentic self to be seen.