Wednesday, February 6, 2013

The Tyranny of "Not Enough"

In a world obsessed with flawless beauty, wealth, popularity and intelligence
the message received is always that of "not enough."
Not enough money
Not enough beauty
Not enough intelligence
Not enough popularity.
Always not enough
Always missing the mark
Always falling short of expectations.
At home, at work, at church and at school
the message is ever "not enough."
In friendships, marriages, and work relationships
always "not enough."
It's like a curse written on my forehead

I was not enough in my home of origin.
The rules always changed so it was impossible to be enough.
I was not enough in my marriage
But then I did not know that it was impossible to be enough for him.
The churches I grew up in told me that I was not enough spiritually;
Taught me that I was less than a worm.
Made sure I knew that I was not holy enough for God.
Religious workplaces have told me that I am not enough
Because of my gender
Or because of my last name.
My culture tells me that I am not enough . . .
Not thin enough
Not popular enough
Not pretty enough
Not sophisticated enough
Not successful enough.
It's like an epitaph written on my yet-to-be-needed tombstone:

My head knows that these values and messages are wrong.
But oh my heart bleeds today with my "not enoughness."
I struggle to feel enough
It is a monstrous effort.
Because the list of 'Not enoughs" is endless.

We live in a culture of scarcity
The fear of never enough is pervasive.
It's time for a radical revolution
It's time for each of us to stand in our own enoughness.
We are enough simply because we are.
The revolution has begun in me
But I need to be reminded when I begin sinking
In the quicksand of "not enough"
I need you to pull me out before I am sucked under;
Just as you will need me when you get caught in that wretched swamp.
We need each other to fight against "Not Enough."
He is a formidable enemy.
And he does not give up easily.

I want to wear a necklace that simply declares
A strand of shiny gold around my neck with the engraved words "Enough" 
Dainty but strong; beautiful but bold; elegant but determined.
It would be my personal statement of enoughness
My personal declaration of war on the tyranny of not enough.

1 comment:

  1. Do you how much is enough? How much money is enough money? The list goes on and on. Enough? Until you know how to be content in life you will never find yourself to be enough. It is only after we embrace and come to understand true contentment can we make headway on the declaration of war on NOT ENOUGH.